Shopping Like Mutant X
by scientistX
Summary: Mutant X goes shopping! Very, very funny!!! Please review. Thanks. Chapter three is FINALLY up!!
1. You do the shopping.

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Mutant X.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Author's Note: This is a humor fanfiction. Please read and review!!!!! Enjoy!!!   
  
  
  
When Mutant X Goes Shopping!!!  
  
Chapter 1: Shalimar and Emma will go  
  
Sanctuary -the end of the month, Adam and Brennan are in the rec room playing pool.  
  
  
  
"Hey Adam we ran out of toilet paper in the unisex bathroom!" Said Jesse as he walked around the corner.  
  
"Did you guys waste it all yesterday when you took the Double Helix out for a 'test spin' to Genomex?" Adam asked the two.  
  
"Adam, we were not the only ones in the Double Helix at the time, in case you forgot Emma and Shalimar came with us," Brennan answered.  
  
"What! Do I hear this right?" Asked Emma walking in with Shalimar, "Are you guys trying to accuse us? Because if I remember right you guys are the ones who tepeed Eckhart's office, after wrapping him up with so much toilet paper that he looked like a mummy." Emma said as she and Shalimar burst out laughing at Adam's face.  
  
"Oh yeah, Adam, we also ran out of food, since Jesse and Brennan ate it all." Shalimar told Adam.  
  
"You guys!! I restocked just two weeks ago!!! There should still be food left- we had three fridges FULL of food, and how much toilet paper did you guys use?" Said an upset Adam.  
  
"It is NOT my fault that we ran out of food!" Said Brennan outraged, "Jesse was the one who told everyone that he could eat more than I could. Which we found out was NOT true!" Said Brennan who seemed happy that everyone knew that he could eat more than Jesse could; despite Adam getting more upset by the minute.  
  
"Adam, we only used what, 100 rolls of toilet paper, at MOST we could have used 200." Said Shalimar sincerely thinking that this was not too much to use.  
  
"You know what? I think that it is time that you guys do the shopping." Adam said as the team squealed with excitement. Not the result Adam had hoped for. Rethinking his strategy he said, "Shalimar and Emma will get to go since they seemed to have acted better."  
  
Excited little screams made Adam wonder if he had made the right decision. He handed each of them a one hundred-dollar bill and told them to take one of the cars. Shalimar and Emma got ready and then went out to the garage.   
  
"Let's take the Audi," Said Emma.  
  
"Sure, I guess if I can't take my motorcycle that's the best choice. You drive." Shalimar said.  
  
XXX Sometime Later at a Mall (that just happens to have almost every type of store) XXX  
  
They arrive at the mall, park the car, get out, and head towards the mall.  
  
"Hey Emma?" Asks Shalimar.  
  
"Yeah?" Emma answers.  
  
"Wanna split the money?.... And go shopping at different stores............ To.. Ah make it more time effective.... See, then we won't have to spend as much time here." Shalimar said seeing if Emma had gotten the hidden meaning to her words.  
  
Emma, scanning Shalimar's mind realized what she wanted to do. She was surprised that she hadn't thought of it herself.  
  
"You know what I think? I think that is a great idea! See you in what?... Let's say two hours?" Said Emma as she and Shalimar walked off in different directions.  
  
  
Author's Note: Okay y'all that's the first chapter!!! How'd you like it? Review and tell me what you think. So, what do you think Shalimar and Emma are planning on doing? Let's just say that they aren't planning on getting what Adam wants!! Please Review! 


	2. We Shopped!

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Mutant X.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Author's Note: Second chapter up!! See what they buy in this chapter! Please read and review!! Thanks!  
  
  
  
When Mutant X Goes Shopping  
  
At the same mall 1 1/2 hours later  
  
Emma Shopping  
  
Emma was taking out ten bags... of clothes to the Audi. This, in fact, had been her third trip with ten bags.   
  
'What was it that Adam wanted us to get? Oh yeah- toilet paper and food.' thought Emma as she went back to the mall to go to the grocery store. When she got to the store she got a cart and started shopping. She got a four- pack of toilet paper and then went looking for food. She ended up with two boxes of fat-free Popsicles, a case of carbonated water, two heads of lettuce, three bags of celery, eight bags of carrots, and a twenty-pound bag of rice.   
  
  
Meanwhile....  
  
Shalimar Shopping  
  
Shalimar was at a meat market. It was finally her turn to order. She went up to the counter to look at all the different choices she had. Fifteen minutes later Shalimar ended up with seventy-five pounds of founds of meat. Literally. She took one look at all the meat and her inner kitty just jumped right out before Shalimar could even try to stop herself.  
  
"Boy, you must be having SOME party to need all this meat!" said the incredibly shocked meat server at how much Shalimar was getting.  
  
"Oh... yeah, a party.... of course it's for a party," Shalimar said, all the while purring to herself.  
  
The guy looked at Shalimar like she was crazy. "You sure you're going to be needing all this?" He said as he wrapped everything up for her. "Just take all this to the counter and they will ring it up for you." He said putting the last of the packages in her cart.  
  
Shalimar took her cart and went to wait in line. As she waited she purred out loud thinking about exactly she was going to cook HER meat. Yes, it was her meat Shalimar thought to herself. Of course I know that I'm going to cook it medium-rare. Man, Adam was nice to let me get all this meat. She absent-mindedly put her meat up on the counter to get rung up.   
  
"That'll be a total of two hundred sixteen dollars and ninety-three cents." said the cashier- a guy who looked to be about twenty, kind of nerdish. All of a sudden Shalimar realized that she had no where near enough to pay for all the meat. She looked around and seeing no one close by or watching she handed him her hundred dollar bill, picked up her purchases, flashed her eyes feral, and made a hasty retreat to the car, while the guy was still dumbfounded.   
  
Shalimar went to the Audi, saw all of Emma's bags in the backseat and decided that it was for the better anyway that Emma wouldn't see all the meat she got if she put it into the trunk. She then hopped in the front passenger seat to wait for Emma.  
  
  
Back to Emma  
  
Emma at the cash register  
  
"Eighty-one forty-one." the cashier told Emma. She handed over her crisp one hundred-dollar bill. After the cashier made sure the bill was real he gave Emma her change of eighteen fifty-nine. Emma looked at her watch and then hurried out to the car, after she put her bags into her cart. When she got there she saw Shalimar sitting in the front tapping her index finger. As soon as Shalimar saw her she got out of the car and went over to Emma.  
  
"Here, let me put that into the trunk for you." Shalimar said.   
  
"Sure." said Emma as she gave Shalimar the cart and got into the driver's seat to wait for Shal. A couple minutes later there were off for Sanctuary with what they got.  
  
  
  
Author's Note: Hey everyone!!! I'm back! I was on vacation with my family for the past week, which means no internet, no fan fiction, no computer at all :( We actually got back the night of the second, but y'all should know by now that I had to make up for the week of no fan fiction fixes! Okay, next chapter you will find out what Adam says to what they got! Please review me!!! Thanks!! 


	3. We're Coming back!

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Mutant X.  
  
Author's Note: Just so everyone knows a "found" is a measurement equal to about six kg. Please review, and sorry for the long wait.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Chapter Three  
  
On the way back to Sanctuary, Shalimar pretended not to notice the bags filling the back seat of the Audi, while Emma pretended not to notice what Shalimar had loaded into the trunk. This worked okay for a while, and they drove without problems. Unfortunately, Emma misread a sign that said 'STOP CONSTRUCTION WORKERS AHEAD' and instead of stopping she just slowed down. A strategically placed cop saw the whole thing and turned his lights and siren on to pull them over.  
  
"Great job, Emma!" chided Shalimar. "What are you gonna tell Adam?"  
  
"Don't worry, I can take care of this." Emma told her, looking like she got pulled over every day. This got her a strange look from Shalimar.  
  
When Emma pulled over, the cop got out of his car and walked up to Emma's open window.  
  
"Ma'am, do you know what you are being pulled over for?" The young policeman asked Emma.  
  
"Yes, I misread the sign back there. Do you think that you could possibly let me off with a warning this time?" Emma asked the officer, while psi-blasting him so that he would let them go AND batting her eyelashes at the man.  
  
"Oh, of course! If you ever need ANYTHING you just call down at the station and ask for Jimmy. I'll come straight away and help you out," the policeman said before walking back to his car and driving away.  
  
"Emma! You can't just go around psi-blasting people to make them do your will! I won't tell Adam, IF you let me drive..." Shalimar slyly told Emma.  
  
"Sure, why not?" Emma said and got out of the car to trade spots with Shalimar. Now, you see, letting Shalimar drive just wasn't the smartest thing to do- as it was, the car was already weighted in the back. (With all of Emma's bags from shopping that weighed about 50 and Shalimar's meat- and we can honestly say that the meat weighed at least 350. Now add in the fact that Emma only weighs 90 and Shalimar onlys weighs 105 wink wink) In fact, the Audi was almost dragging on the back end- the wheels were barely touching the ground in the front. Another reason why Shalimar should not have been allowed to drive was because of the fact Adam had forbidden her from driving any vehichle unless he noted otherwise since that awful incident.... Those poor animals...  
  
Shalimar knew the car had too much weight in the back and so when she got in the driver's side she pulled into a vacant parking lot and started doing wheelies. After five minutes of this she was done playing and started back on the road to Sanctuary. It would be lying to say that the trip back was uneventful from here on. With Shalimar as the driver they were going an average speed of 175 km. an hour. When Emma was asked by Shalimar if she wanted to take the scenic route back, Emma should have said no. Instead she said yes, causing Shalimar to go wild with excitement for some strange reason.  
  
The scenic way to get to Sanctuary caused you to go through a couple miles of farms. Most were grain farms, but Shalimar knew that some of them had animals, lots of animals... The people of these homes were very trusting with each other so they let their animals roam around freely. Perhaps in the future they will be more careful, considering they live near a fairly large road. Shalimar had visited here a lot during the nights, when she couldn't sleep.  
  
Shalimar was looking around at all the animals, swerving each time she saw something that made her mouth water. Emma was oblivious to all of this- she had her head leaning on the window trying not to barf from Shalimar's crazy driving. All of a sudden Shalimar thought that she might be in heaven- up ahead there was a cow, a giant, giant cow, standing on the road. She gunned the Audi, going 200 km. an hour. The poor cow had no chance, even a superspeed mutant would not have been able to move in time.  
  
CRASH! Shalimar had hit the cow head on. Emma jerked up from staring out the window to see what had happened.  
  
"Oh Shalimar! You hit a poor cow. We have to get it back to Sanctuary and have Adam save it!" Emma pleaded with Shalimar.  
  
"Sure.... Get the bungee cords out of the glove compartment. I'll attach it to the roof of the car, and then we'll take it back to Sanctuary. I'll have Adam prepare this big guy for me." Shalimar told Emma, who did not realize what Shal's last sentence meant.  
  
It had taken a while to get the cow up, Shal even had to use her feral strength- the 'giant' cow weighed 250 kg. By the time Shalimar had gotten the cow onto the roof of the car Emma really had to go the bathroom. Shalimar decided to go back to the main road, but would not stop for Emma. She used the excuse that the cow had to get to Sanctuary, fast. Shalimar was lying through her teeth about the cow- she knew it was already dead, but she also knew that she liked her meat fresh.  
  
Back at Sanctuary....  
  
Adam and the boys had gotten tired of waiting for Shalimar and Emma. Instead of trying to contact them with the com-link rings, or realizing that it had been about three hours since the girls had left, they decided to play pool.  
  
"Adam, I think you're cheating! You've won the past four games, and we've only played four games!" Jesse whined.  
  
"Oh Jesse, you're just mad because you've been the biggest loser of us three. Really I'm sorry that the first games you didn't get to play, but if me and Adam get all the balls played before it's your turn, tough luck." Brennan said sticking up for Adam.  
  
"I didn't get to play because you used your powers to put the ball in the pocket. You did cheat!"  
  
"Now Jesse, you can't prove that Brennan used his powers. Don't claim things that you can't prove." Adam said protecting Brennan.  
  
As the boys got into a full-fledged fight none of them even thought of the girls. After twenty minutes of screaming at each other Brennan and Jesse went to their rooms, and Adam went into the med-lab.  
  
Author's Note: Please review! Next chapter will have a suprise visitor. Wait to see what happens to Shalimar and Emma! How long will it take for Shalimar and Emma to get back to Sanctuary? 


End file.
